7 Minute Study

study 4: The Savior’s Example of Relating to Others

from Alive in Christ by Dallin H. Oaks

April 2026 Conference

for personal use

➜ skip to further study ideas

“Each of us can strive to follow our Savior in His teachings about how to relate to one another.” -Dallin H. Oaks (April 2026 Conference)

Consider some common meanings of the word relate: 

to make or have a connection, 

to interact, 

to respond to, 

to understand.

We can follow the teaching and example of the Savior as we try to connect with others, interact or respond to others, and as we seek to understand where they are coming from.

  • What is something you have learned from the Savior that has guided your responses to others?

After saying: “Each of us can strive to follow our Savior in His teachings about how to relate to one another.” President Oaks adds:

“This does not mean surrendering our values.” (April 2026 Conference)

Brené Brown, a researcher and author, defines a value as “a way of being or believing that we hold most important.”

  • What is a situation where it seems like you would need to change your values in order to love someone?

Sometimes we believe something has to be one thing or another, when really both can be true.

Jesus found ways to hold to His beliefs as He interacted with others. 

In all He did, Jesus stood for truth and showed love to others.

When lepers, shunned by others, approached Him, Jesus offered love and healing.

When church leaders brought a woman to Him focused on her wrongdoing, Jesus unwaveringly suggested they each take responsibility for their own actions.

When a disciple attacked a soldier sent to arrest Him, Jesus healed the soldier’s injury.

And when He was hung on a cross and the crowd taunted Him to save Himself, Jesus focused on forgiving them and ensuring His mother would be cared for. 

He did not lose focus on what mattered to Him.

We can also hold onto what is important to us while finding ways to show kindness, love, and understanding to others. 

Jesus was grounded in who He was and what mattered to Him. This kept Him from being reactive or distracted from His values.

Seeing ourselves as an individual, distinctly separate from others, can help us in this way too. A connection with self like this isn’t selfish and it doesn’t create distance; it actually enables more authentic, strong connections with God and others. It allows us to hold our own beliefs and values while giving others the space to do the same.

From this clarity, our understanding of love can shift.

Loving someone doesn’t necessarily mean spending time with them. 

Loving someone isn’t dependent on them valuing or agreeing with us.

This means growing love is something we can choose.

“We can follow the example of Jesus Christ, who is our role model, by choosing to love others—even if they show little or no love toward us.” -Dallin H. Oaks (April 2026 Conference)

Psychology echoes this idea, teaching that compassion is about a person’s humanity, not about whether we agree with them. We can acknowledge someone’s feelings and inherent value without sharing their perspective.

We may feel love for someone because we think they are fun to be around or because we feel grateful for how they help us.

Maybe we feel love when we notice someone’s effort to do good, even when they fall short.

Maybe we feel love when we look beyond behaviors and consider their challenges.

Maybe all we can think is that God loves them, so they must be worth loving.

We don’t need to change someone to love them—but we can make some shifts in our own thoughts and focus. Feeling love for someone is about how we see them and what we think about them. Choosing more understanding thoughts can lead to feelings of love and compassion. 

  • What could it look like for you to love someone without agreeing with them? What understanding or loving thoughts could you have about them?

As we try to interact with others as the Savior did, we can pray for guidance, support, and ideas. 

➜ Asking ourselves questions like this can also help us pause and notice room for adjustment: “Am I holding myself to the same standard I am demanding of them?”*

As you conclude today’s study, consider what you want to remember or what you want to ask or share with God. 

*This question comes from The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute.

Ideas for Further Study

More from the Savior’s Interactions with Others

More about Compassion and Charity

  • Remember you can work to develop compassion and charity for both others and yourself.
  • See Guide to the Scriptures: Compassion
  • See Learning Compassion on churchofjesuschrist.org
  • See Gospel Library: Topics and Questions: Charity

More about Being an Individual or Connections with Self, God, and Others

More about Thinking Things Have to Be One Thing or Another

  • This is called All or Nothing thinking. It is a Cognitive Distortion. Meaning, an inaccurate and unhelpful, yet common thinking pattern that keeps us from seeing the whole story.
  • Consider getting the children’s book Amber’s Big Jump!  which helps in understanding and noticing All or Nothing thinking. (This book, available on Amazon, comes from our sister company: Thought Detectives.)

Continue with 7 Minute Study: Dallin H. Oaks